Alright, I hate that song but it IS the song for the show COPS so it is fitting to what just happened.
Those that know me well, know I love crime shows. I will hopefully never be on, or be the subject of one of those shows, so I feel like I just had a tiny little thrill. Let's go back an hour to when Bryan was trying to sell a TV on Craigs List. He asked me if a guy could come over and look at it. Strange man coming to the house while I am alone did not sit well with me, but hey, Bryan had his phone number and his son's phone number which would make finding my killer quite helpful (had he chosen to whack me). He came over, nice older man, and we chatted. He was all about the dogs, and then he said he wanted to hook the TV up to the cable. I think I look pretty honest and I promise we would not sell anything that did not work. He wanted me to prove it. I told him that we could hook it up in the playroom, and I would just take the cable from the wall, into the TV. He said no, that was wrong, we had to run it through the DVD player. Um, no you don't. He moved the TV stand, unhooked all the wires, and still nothing worked. I then convinced him to just let me try my way, and what do you know? It worked. Shocker. He was having a hard time lifting the TV (and I certainly can't) and he told me him and a utility knife got into a fight, and the knife won. He then took off the splint his thumb was in to show me where he sliced his thumb off. He told me he got the cast off yesterday and showed me all the scars, his range of motion, etc. This happened several times. Poor Larry and his thumb. At least it got reattached. Larry bought the TV (no more huge TV on the dining room table-YAY!) and he left.
After he left I went on to my domestic duty of emptying the dishwasher. From where the dishwasher is, you can see the driveway. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something. I think it is Larry coming back because he forgot something, or just wanted to talk about his thumb some more. Nope, two creepy looking men headed towards the house. I ran to make sure Bryan's garage was locked since they were headed there. I looked out the window and I did not see them so I thought they were going into the backyard via the side door. I froze again, and did not see them. After awhile, I looked out the window and this is what I saw (and yes, of COURSE I took pictures....with a zoom lens from far away while hidden behind a wall.)
I think they are saying "Sh*t dude, we are screwed" (I am sure it was much more vulgar than that.) Then they started arguing with the cop, although I am not sure. At that moment I wish I had that thing for hearing I see on TV. You know the one, where they say you will be able to hear your neighbors talking from far away. I so wanted that! I pressed my face up against the door but all I could hear was the wind and birds chirping. Damn you Spring!
Look at the body language. Arms crossed, pants falling down (it is called a belt. Get one.) I definitely think there was a quarrel. I love that word. Quarrel. So fun.
Then I see this pull up:
One cop car is bad, but with two cop cars I was hoping to see some handcuffs and throwing people against the car. No such luck. Our neighbor Don was walking up the driveway, I assume Bryan called him since it was right after I told Bryan about what was going on. I asked Don what was happening and he was going to go talk to the cops to find out. I told him I think they were trying to get in the backyard. A few minutes later the doorbell rang. The cop asked me what I saw, so I told him about Larry (I did not tell him about the thumb incident) and how I thought it was him. Then I said I thought they were trying to get into the yard. We walked over there and he said "I see no evidence here." Suddenly I hear the Law and Order theme song in my head. This is getting good. We walk back to the driveway and he said they were probably just peeing. Um, what? He then tells me they were walking the neighborhood putting out flyers, and he points to the garage where the flyer was. What was my VERY first thought after he told me this? Ooh, I wonder if it is a flyer for a new pizza place. I love pizza. But no, it was for landscaping. Suddenly I was bummed for two reasons: 1)No new pizza place in Parker (with coupons) and 2) No scandalous story to relay to people. Then he tells me, "Those guys are NOT the people you want in this neighborhood. Trust me." I say, "Oh really?" Then he says, "Trust me. I can't tell you too much but those are not the guys you want around here." Of course I am dying to know what they have done. Rob a bank, rob a house, get arrested for indecent exposure due to lack of a belt? Oh tell me, tell me. He then asks me if I am a mom. I tell him I am going to be a step mom and he goes on to tell me women have an intuition, and I need to listen to it. Thanks Dr. Phil Cop. He tells me "In a complete PC way, I told them to get the hell out of here." He even did a hand motion while stating this. He told me if I ever see them again, to call him right away (yet he never told me his name). He then said, "Someone else called, we have been called on them before and we want you to call if you see them again. Call us, we are paid by the hour." What the heck does THAT mean?!
The two cops stood in the driveway for a few minutes. I took a far away bad picture as I hid in the dining room trying to be sly:
Were they talking about the incident? What those two guys have done in the past? How insanely dirty that window is? How hot of an almost step mom they just talked to was? I would like to think it was the hot step mom thing. :)
